Always a problem is my tendancy to emulate the wri...

2006-08-08T00:17:04.286-05:00

Always a problem is my tendancy to emulate the writer I hate above all others, Faulkner, a long sentence is my own personal affront to my desire to emulate Hemingway's terse sharp sentences. The smell thing is due to the fact I don't think about smell, I can barely smell, a pack a day'll do that to your nose. Thanks for the comment, I'll have to watch out for the smell and color.

i doubt we'll hate the same things, seeing as i'm ...

2006-08-06T01:44:38.226-05:00

i doubt we'll hate the same things, seeing as i'm a terrible reader and reviewer. But we can but try...

i think that you could use more punctuation. For example, your last sentance could be turned into four. i think this would help make each statement stand out more, and pace the reader. As it is, i rush to finish the sentance without taking the time to digest what i read.

Also, whenever i write, i tend to leave out the senses, especially colour. i don't know if this is intentional, but you make no mention of colour. No smell either. i like the atmosphere you set up, but i think it could be fleshed out more.

i apologise if any of this is condescending, or just plain stupid on my part. Anyways, i love the little details you use, like the "snap of inertia," and the "practicality of cyanide vs. the the poetic significance of hemlock." And the characters seem interesting, though i obviously don't know much of anything about them.

Eh, enough babbling. Nice work.

Comments on Navel-Gazing Bullshit.: "Give me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy"

Always a problem is my tendancy to emulate the wri...

i doubt we'll hate the same things, seeing as i'm ...